I wish I didn't love anal stimulation this much (so embarrassing)?

This is really embarrassing... But I'm absolutely in love with anal related things. This is a secret and it's sooooo embarrassing. I dated a guy for a year and I never told him. Anything "back there" related (pooping, farting, ANAL) makes me so uncomfortable. Like, I just pretend that I don't have a butt, I take careful precautions to make sure nobody ever knows that I poop, I've never farted in front of anyone and anal related stuff is strictly off topic in any situation. But I'm so in love with anal stimulation. When I'm masturbating the only way I'll orgasm or even get wet is if I imagine anal, anal porn is the only porn I watch. I love masturbating anally. This is so embarrassing. :/ How can I get over this? I feel like a freak. Is this abnormal? I'm 19 years old by the way and this has been going on for as long as I can remember. Oh and I've never done anything anal with anyone.